WHY MARRIAGES AND RELATIONSHIPS FAIL
When you “fell in love”, you saw many things that felt wonderful. You looked forward to a “wonderful” life.
I have defined that initial state as a psychosis. It grips and draws you to each other, with impatient passion, and consuming excitement.
Why is it that many of those relationships do not last through time?
Couples say they have fallen out of love.
Sex is no longer an attraction. Long talks at night have vanished from the scene.
It doesn’t matter that thousands of dollars went into the fairy tale wedding. Nor, more importantly, the vows they made before God, each other, friends and family are being tossed away, instead of seeking help.
Their relationship has fallen to levels of fighting, alcohol, affairs and worse.
People are not prepared with skills of how to listen to each other with compassion. Most people do not recognize that much of their early beginnings have been internalized, and they are often replicated by themselves or their partners. People marry with high expectations of their relationship.
They can repair and develop new ways of looking at your partner, and knowing what an intimate connection can look like.
This work that I have been doing for almost 37 years can change lives. Together they will heal the wounds they have visited on each other. They can learn an amazing, safe way to Dialogue which will pave the path for compassionate connection. Resentments, anger, path and stop the pain accumulated.
Show your kids, your friends that commitment is vital to relationships, and that you cared enough to see an expert and bring you back to an even better place than when you fell in love.
(Paula Susan is a relationship and trauma specialist in Southern New Jersey who has been counseling couples and individuals for over 33 years.)