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Lack of communication is at the core of issues in any relationship – especially in committed relationships.

I am Paula Susan.  Since 1982, I have specialized in trauma and Relationships/Marital issues.  Many numbers of people in South Jersey are in healthy relationships because they learned one of the finest communication skills that I teach.  Their relationship is one of connection and loving.

Communication is about truly hearing your partner, listening with compassion to what they are saying from their perspective.  Sometimes it takes courage and self-esteem to speak your truth.  In many marriages, they do not speak their truth for fear of “rocking the boat” of their relationship.

Affairs happen because couples don’t hear each other.  Anger grows.  For some, because they do not feel safe, the anger builds up inside.  Or, they have learned long ago not to make waves.  Or, perhaps their partner has tuned out.

This leads to feeling isolated, not loved or respected.  They don’t feel that they count.

Kids hear the yelling between their parents, or feel the tension around the home.  They do not grow up learning the important things about loving in relationships.

Is this the legacy you want to pass on?

Before you do anything, ask yourself about the quality of your communication.  It is THE most powerful tool for any relationship or marriage.

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

South Jersey Relationships, and the anger and resentments that destroy them.

I’m Paula Susan and am in my 36th year of helping clients resolve built up anger in their relationships.

One person in the couple may be an easy push over so to keep peace between them. The other person thinks everything is okay yet senses something is wrong. Just feels it.

One person has lost the sexual excitement they once felt, and has sought it elsewhere. When the other finds out, major issues arise between them including the betrayal and guilt they will experience. The trust must be assured, in order to recapture the love.

One person had a horrid childhood and took in negative messages from it. They tend to be very angry at the world. They don’t have a clue how this effects their partner.

One person has a history of lies, and does defensive cover-ups. When found out, they have put their life together, at major risk.

Many people, couples, individuals, think people will perceive them as a failure by going to therapy. And, many, many relationships have been saved by a good therapist who is capable of getting to the bottom of their stored anger and resentment. The therapist should have years of experience and training to do deep healing, and to teach the couple a way to hear and understand each other, using solid communication skills.

I am known in the South Jersey community and parts of Philadelphia, as the specialist in Trauma and Relationships. Read my website and understand why.

www.paulasusan.com

 

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists, Uncategorized

Trauma and Relationship Specialist in South Jersey

I am Paula Susan, in private practice here in South Jersey, for 36 years. I chose to specialize in Trauma and Relationship which are often complicated situations.  In some ways, they prevent love from growing. It doesn’t have to be that way, or taint or ruin the quality of so many lives.

Couples – in any combination – come to me because they are on the brink of separating or divorcing. That is such a huge move. Yes, there are times when that is the solution. However, most often, it is not.

When I hear that “he” has been verbally abusive and controlling, and “she” has hit her limit, they are invited in as a couple. They each fill in an inventory (which can be found on the bottom of my relationship page).  Once completed, I now have an overview of how each see the relationship and each other.

My next two sessions are with them individually so we can connect and discuss the background from which they came. Now, with a sense of their histories, I know where to start the deep healing that they deserve.

When I bring them back together, I teach an amazing way to communicate. They begin to hear each other’s truth, pain and the hurt resulting from their treatment of each other, a shift happens.

Tracing back, we locate the source of their behaviors and open a different way to hear and feel each other.

Traumas are resolved efficiently using many ways to do that, especially Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. The healing and teaching ways to effectively love each other is the result of my rather short term, yet dynamic work.

It frees couples to stay or to leave based on what is now possible.

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

Paula Susan is Helping People from every part of South Jersey.

 

As the specialist in South Jersey counseling people for trauma issues (big and small) and relationship challenges (any kind), I see more and more people are desiring something stable and good in their personal lives. They are not willing to settle any more. Divorces are happening in long marriages like 36 or 40 something years. Dissatisfied people young and old should come to me to heal long carried resentments and pain.

 

I, Paula Susan, am known as the specialist for trauma issues (sometimes from long ago) and all the marital and relationship issues from anger, infidelity, lack of communication, sexual problems and the list goes on. You might be surprised that I see people from the shore area, Cherry Hill, Moorestown, Voorhees, Mt. Laurel, and everywhere in between. Sometimes, from Philadelphia, too. Why travel to a therapist when there is one close by? See my website paulasusan.com No one has to live unhappy in South Jersey. Make this an important investment for the rest of your life. Travel if you have to. You will see how deep healing in a relatively short time can transform your life.

 Know what happiness and contentment you can have, if you commit to making the quality of your life count.

 I’m Paula Susan right here in South Jersey. I have been doing this work since 1982. Check me out.

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

South Jersey Relationship/Couples and Trauma Specialist talks about facing another unhappy year with your partner.

Hi, and Happy New Year!  I have been specializing in the field of marriage and trauma therapy since 1982. And, every year it is the same, in my practice. The phones are ringing off the hook after the holidays, with people so sad about facing another year in an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship.

Reading my web site, www.paulasusan.com, you will see there is a lot of wisdom in deciding to do this work before you leave your marriage, or have an affair, or build another year of anger.

With an understanding of what you value that still exists between you and what the challenges are, you learn a way to hear and “get” the differences in each of you, and why there is so much distance and friction.

Call me at 856-638-1868 and we can talk about your specific struggle. This investment in short-term therapy can give you lifelong benefits!

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

South Jersey’s Specialist in Relationships/Marriage and Trauma Speaks About the Painful Revelations Around Holidays and the Coming new Year.

Web site blog

 

South Jersey’s Specialist in Relationships/Marriage and Trauma speaks about the painful revelations around holidays and the coming New Year.

Since 1982, I have been listening to couples who have been in a relationship or marriage a long time. Many of them feel lonely. Many are angry because their relationship is nothing like they expected it to be. The sexual connection is gone. The romance is non-existent, and they fight a lot. The expression is they are not “on the same page”.

Some people admit they are ready to have affairs. Their partners are no longer interested in them, and they are longing to be touched, to be listened to, to be loved.

If you are feeling this way, too, read my web site www.paulasusan.com, take the relationship quiz, and call me at 856-638-1868.

I not only revive relationships and marriages, I heal the pain that has been carried inside for years. I will teach you how to open your hearts again to this person you once loved, and who loved you.

Face Christmas and the New Year with hope, and a path to deeply loving again.

 

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

South Jersey’s Specialist for Complex Relationships/Marriages & Trauma Issues Discusses How Growing Up in Dysfunction Can be the Reason for Disharmony and Distrust. EMDR to the Rescue.

I promised myself back in 1982, when I chose to specialize in relationships and trauma, that I would not be a Freudian. Everything cannot possibly originate with Mom. Well, certainly not everything. Dad and early circumstances set the tone for how people think and feel about themselves and their ability to relate to others.

That is why I make a point of seeing each member of the couple alone for one session to get background information and to create a comfortable space for honesty and growth.

Sure enough, the person who is angry a lot, carries the anger from childhood, deep in the unconscious, because of neglect or abuse. It shows up in relationships. The lack of trust and safety from those early days interferes with the trust that is needed for intimacy in a marriage.

ENDR will heal those deep wounds as well as wounds from the present such as affairs in the relationship. People come away from our work feeling transformed and whole. Communication becomes something that pulls them close and loving with each other.

Call and speak with me 856-638-1868

 

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

South Jersey’s Specialist in Relationships/Marriage & Trauma

South Jersey’s Specialist in Relationships/Marriage & Trauma

Why Seeing Couples Together and Separately is the Best Way

 

Since 1982, I’ve specialized in working with complex couples relationships – actually any kind of relationship. What I’ve learned through the years of counseling is that seeing couples only together doesn’t allow for the whole story to come out. (Most of my colleagues only see couples together.)

 

Many people are not comfortable expressing their biggest complaints in front of their partners. They fear their partner will be angry and hurt them in some way. Sometimes one partner is having an affair and if the therapist doesn’t know, then they are wasting their money. That person needs to resolve where he/she wants to be before real marriage counseling can begin.

 

So, when I invite a couple in for the first meeting, I have them fill in the Inventory on my website and we discuss that in the first meeting. I lay out how I work so they know what to expect. The next two sessions are designed for me to see each person alone – to establish a connection and to get background information. Then I bring them together and teach a fabulous communication skill that creates safety and deep understanding between them. It is a relationship builder.

 

EMDR is what I use to heal anger, shame, resentments, abuse, affairs… and to help build healthy self-respect.

Relationships can be transformed into something worth living!

 

Call me at 856-638-1868 and we can talk.

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

Relationship/Marriage and Trauma Specialist of South Jersey Defines Love

Relationship/Marriage and Trauma Specialist of South Jersey Defines Love

 

I’m Paula Susan and am faced with couples who come in every day feeling they have lost their love for each other. There are many ways people do that, when once their relationship was wonderful. I think we take for granted that it will always be there, and that your partner will always be there as well.

 

Relationships are complex. Bringing who we are and who we have been in our lives into a relationship with someone else who does the same, there will be conflicts and disappointments.

 

Learn how you can let go of resentments with the work that I do. Learn how to talk to each other differently to re-establish the lost intimacy! Don’t walk away until you really understand what love is and how to heal, grow, and sustain it.

 

Call 856-638-1868 -and we can talk after you read WHAT KILLS LOVE.  Go to readhttp://www.familyaffaires.com/what-kills-love/

then give me a call.

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

South Jersey Relationships/Marriage, and Trauma Specialist – Integrates EMDR for effective, efficient deep healing.

 

 

South Jersey Relationships/Marriage, and Trauma Specialist – Integrates EMDR for effective, efficient deep healing. 

See more, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QJbCtr8bvA

 

I am an early pioneer in EMDR Therapy. I studied with Francine Shapiro, the scientist who created the process, in 1991. I have since made it my own, also using skills I have developed from other masters in my field.

 

Knowing the therapeutic community here in South Jersey, I differentiate myself from most therapists by integrating EMDR or HAT (Heart Assisted Therapy) into all my work. I teach a communication process that is the finest I’ve seen in my entire career. People begin to truly hear each other, with understanding and compassion, which leads to the intimacy that was lost over time.

 

I make it part of my protocol to see each person individually to make a connection, get background information, and to hear anything they might be uncomfortable sharing in front of their partner. As the therapist, I need and want all the information I can have, to do a thorough job of helping people let go of their anger and upset with each other, and to build an intimate relationship of trust again – or to separate respectfully.

 

If there is a hidden affair, I want to help that person see the reality of their conflict, and to help them define what they want for themselves.

 

 

 

Relationships and marriages are complex. Everyone brings aspects of their past into the present. Many are not aware just how much the past affects us. EMDR gives access to “attachment” damages, and restores wholeness.

 

I’m proud to be in my 35th year of coming through for people who needed to learn new ways of achieving happiness and peace.

 

 

Now that you are on my website, browse categories that interest you. Check out the testimonials. Then call me at 856-638-1868.

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

Masters in Social Work and Psychology
- Relationship & Trauma
- Specialist Since 1982
- Expert in EMDR
- HAT Practitioner

Short-Term
Dynamic Therapy

Training & Certifications in Energy
Psychology, Cognitive/Behavioral,
EMDR, HAT, EFT, Hypnotherapy,
Neurolinguistics and more.

IMAGO
Certified Relationship Specialist

Heal Relationships
Affairs:
To separate or grow beyond

Gay and Lesbian Challenges:
How to transcend them

Sexual Issues:
Release from dogma to freedom,
from passive to responsive

Communication:
Hearing and being heard -
real connection

Resolve Trauma
Board Certified
Incest, Tragedy, Sexual Violation,
Grieving, Chronic Illness

Clinical Depression,
Anxiety

Consultation to
professionals

Referral Network

READ PAULA'S OWN BLOG

Guest Blogger at

Paula was a guest on the weekly WGLS-fm Rowan Radio Show
Your Health Matters with Dr. Craig Wax
Topics Discussed:

  • How Relationships Can Be Compromised Due to Stress
  • The Economy's Impact on Relationships
  • And More...

Click below to listen
to the podcast!!!

Empowering Ourselves Interview