ABOUT LIFE COUNSELING, LLC - Repairing Lives, Restoring Hope with Wisdom, Skill and Heart

Blog

What to do during this crisis of COVID 19

Posted on March 28, 2020 by ps

 

During this crisis which requires us to isolate, we need to find creative ways to keep ourselves busy and productive.  We need to maintain connections through sources like e-mail, telephone, Zoom, texting, so that we do not pull inward.

 

Depression, despair is horrific to deal with on top of the challenges of this time.  Dwelling on the problems it creates and the people we love who could be in danger, does not change things!  It keeps you down and feeling helpless…

 

The most important message I can give you is, STAY PRESENT.  Wake every morning to a “normal” schedule.  Dress as if you are expecting someone to visit.  It will help you feel better.  I no longer bother with accessorizing; however, I do wear earrings just to keep the holes open. Our hair is another thing.  My roots are growing in leaps and bounds and so is my hair.  I am using this time as an experiment.  Wonder what I will look like when this is over? It is important to exercise and if you are living with someone, have them do it with you.  It is unhealthy to let your body go.  Eat well.  Do not binge eat to pass the time.  Plan interesting meals and perhaps a happy dessert. If you enjoy a drink, then do it only on Saturday, to make it feel special.  Drinking as an escape is not healthy.  And, it can lead to bigger problems. Meditate.  That is something you can teach your children.  It is relaxing and puts love in your heart.

 

Make a list of things you want to do and prioritize.  Then, do them.  It will fill time and you will be accomplishing something.  There are always movies to watch on TV, and lots to learn like courses on line.  You can take “virtual tours” of interesting places.  Listening to music, reading, writing – perhaps your memoirs are all good things.  There are games you can play on Zoom and visit with family members and friends. Write letters – you know the old fashion kind of communication for people you care about, will bring them pleasure.  (No talking about the virus.  It will only pull them and you, down.)

 

Watch the news only one time a day and not before bedtime.  Choose a channel that offers “real” news and learn what is happening from the major medical people.

 

This is a perfect time to do healing work for you.  I’m here for you.  I am here with the skills, my heart and my wisdom.  It is a privilege to help.

 

Paula Susan

609-975-8845

Posted in Anger, Betrayal, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, EMDR, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

A Message about COVID 19 from Paula Susan, Masters in Social Work and Psychology

Posted on March 27, 2020 by ps

With this terrible Virus, we still require help with our own issues.  Perhaps living with your partner causes you even more stress.  That is why I am compiling a list of things we can do in our forced isolation.  I will post this on Facebook and here on this blog.

 

In the meantime, do not let your relationship suffer.

 

I am available to you by telephone to do the work of healing.  Please call me at 609-975-8845.

 

Stay safe and be aware of scams.  They are out there, unfortunately.

I’ll be letting you know about the list I am preparing.

Posted in Anger, Betrayal, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, EMDR, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

Why Does Take So Long For People to Reach For Help?

Posted on October 29, 2019 by ps

Paula Susan, Specialist in Trauma and Relationships here in South Jersey asks:

          Why does it take so long for people to reach for help with their relationship and emotional struggles?  Doing this gratifying work since 1982, it continues to surprise me that people are willing to live in unhappiness, abusive treatment, and without sexual gratification.

          I’ve heard that “people don’t change”, and that is not true!  What is true, is that you learn attitudes, beliefs and behaviors from your environment.  Remember the adage “Children learn what they live.”

          Of course, there are genetic tendencies and other influences.  However, doing this work with me can set you free – free to be the loving person – partner that you can be.

          Eye Movement, Desentization and Reprocessing is an amazing gift to our field of healing deep scars.  Learning a Dialogue that will allow for each of you to hear the other, and encourage intimacy through compassion – what could be better?

          Let’s have a conversation to see if we fit.  Call me.  609-975-8845.  Or, e-mail me at ps@paulasusan.com.

Posted in Anger, Betrayal, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, EMDR, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists, Uncategorized

Posted on September 17, 2019 by ps

Paula Susan, respected therapist in South Jersey asks . . . .DO YOU LIVE IN A SECURE, LOVING RELATIONSHIP?

      It’s a good question to ask, especially in the midst of all the challenges this world is experiencing, and the chaos and present dangers we hear about daily. 

      If your relationship doesn’t feel secure and loving, then consider using my skills, wisdom and knowledge to create a relationship that is healthy, loving, safe and supportive. 

      That is something you do have power over.  Just about every couple I meet comes in with built up resentments.

      These resentments multiply and the kindness a couple once had for each other is lost. One can feel the distance between them.  When you have accumulated resentments over the years, intimacy suffers.

      What happened to the joy they once felt?

      Many times the couple is ready for divorce. There is a lot to consider. I can help.

      With skills I have learned and integrated into my work, deep healing (that you would have carried with you wherever you are) will result. I teach some of those skills to my clients so their success with me is maintained.

      EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) goes to the root of the issue. The Dialogue brings couples together in a kind, respectful way. It is a process that will take you into each other’s experience. From that process, empathy will emerge and a deeper understanding of the partners will bring them closer.

      I have dedicated my life to this healing. Call me at 609-975-8845 so we can speak personally with each other.

      You have the power to re-create your relationship and live the life you have wanted.

Posted in Uncategorized

Paula Susan, Relationship and Trauma Specialist Since 1982, Discusses The Loss of a Love That Once Radiated Your Life.

Posted on August 1, 2019 by ps

My office, here in South Jersey has been filled with couples aching for what once was. Sometimes the problem is not knowing how to enliven a weary relationship. Same routines often become boring.

I find communication and intimacy a primary issue. If you have not felt heard or understood, the way I teach communication will restore connection in a respectful, safe way.

Intimacy is created by authentic sharing of your needs and wants.

If the sex is little or none, if it doesn’t feel good, being able to discuss it in an effective way can lead to wonderful intimacy. There are books and videos to help partners face the disappointment they feel with each other in bed.

Anger, especially not discussed and resolved, will not lead to hot and loving sex There is that need for kind, authentic discussion.

Betrayal strikes at the core of the one who is the victim. It is ugly and hurtful. However it calls for the kind of counseling I do.  There lies in front of you, the path to healing for you and the betrayer. They had abandoned their values and self-respect.

Learning how to heal the hole in their relationship does happen here.

Divorce? Slow down and seek the path of your healing. Be certain that there is no way past this. Your children, family and friends will be happy that you chose to recreate love and trust.

And, you will not carry the anger, pain and shame into other relationships.

I am an integrated therapist. I learned EMDR from the researcher who found a way to go to the core of the issues and heal them, while offering insight.

I am proud to be spending my life leading the path, to wholeness, laughter, happiness, and when they slip, how to get back to using the skills I teach.

Call me at 609-975-8845. Our connection and, your willingness to bring your heart and soul into an experience of healing and connection will change your life.

Posted in Anger, Betrayal, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, EMDR, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

Paula Susan Has Been Successful in Healing Trauma

Posted on April 22, 2019 by ps

Why Paula Susan has been so successful in healing trauma.

 

Here in South Jersey, I have spent these last 39 years, doing the deep work of healing trauma survivors.  Abuse comes in many forms.  There is mental, physical, sexual, emotional abuse and neglect.

 

Any one of these may result in seriously low self-esteem.  If your parents are not encouraging, inspiring, loving, your self-esteem will be very damaged.

 

When that happens, your choices will not be the best.  This may continue to add to your disappointment in yourself.  Happiness eludes you.

 

I made a commitment to learn everything I could on the subject of trauma.  I decided to specialize in this field as well as relationships.

 

It is absolutely true that your past experiences affect the relationships you forge. Most marriages in therapy, demonstrate that to me.

 

I know how to heal in the core and help you create a loving, fulfilling life.  I know because I lived it!

 

www.paulasusan.com

609-975-8845

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, EMDR, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

Relationship and Trauma Specialist heals pain at its core and gives broken marriages a new breath of life.

Posted on April 8, 2019 by ps

Relationship and Trauma Specialist in Southern New Jersey,  Paula Susan, heals pain at its core and gives broken marriages a new breath of life.

 

For almost for years, it has been a privilege, my hearts pleasure, to meet and help people to live life with optimism and self-respect.

 

I like working with couples on the edge, between repair and divorce.  It is vital to assist in their making sense of why they got where they are with each other.

 

With a successful process called EMDR, along with the integration of all my learning through the years, I am able to see people truly moved beyond their negative emotions.

 

Learning the power of honest communication is unbeatable, with your partner or in the world.  I teach a Dialogue that re-connects relationships, through truly listening and hearing the other – combined with learning the value of empathy.

 

We tackle the differences now with understanding of where the other is “coming from” and how it impacts them.  Between the two, they are able to come to a solution that respects each of them.

Paula has been counseling couples and individuals for over 37 years.

 

Please call and speak with me regarding what hurts in your life.

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, EMDR, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

Choosing the Best Therapist for Relationship Issues

Posted on November 26, 2018 by ps

CHOOSING THE BEST THERAPIST FOR

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

 

Honestly, it blows my mind that people are so afraid to confront the things that bother them in their relationships.  Some keep their mouths shut because they are afraid to be met with a firestorm.  Some don’t know how to discuss their unhappiness.  Some were brought up to keep quiet –  Don’t argue –

Do what you are told.

 

So, what happens?  Resentments build over time, and there are consequences that will lead to disaster in your relationships:  Periodic blow-ups, not wanting to be home, not being able to participate fully in sexual intimacy, some lead to affairs or divorce.  There have even been cases which lead to murder.  When anger builds, anything can happen.

 

Good therapy, with a good therapist can change your life.  That may mean a few less dinners out and postponing Broadway shows.  But, it will be so worth it!  The results of the therapy will be that you will have what it takes to build a happy life.

 

I have 38 years of experience.  That is not just counseling people in my office. It is also all the readings and all the trainings that I have done and continue to do.  I am up-to-date on the myriad methods to alleviate suffering.   I teach an amazing method to express yourselves to one other.  I have the skills to deeply heal the wounds of your life which keep you from knowing lasting love and the emotional connection that is necessary for intimacy and a life worth living.

 

Read my website and give me a call. We can talk and see if we fit for working together.

Paula Susan, MSW, LCSW is a Relationship and Trauma Specialist in Southern New Jersey who has been counseling couples and individuals for over 33 years.

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, EMDR, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

South Jersey’s Experienced Trauma and Relationship Therapist shares the Process

Posted on November 26, 2018 by ps

South Jersey’s Experienced Trauma and Relationships Therapist Shares the Process.

 

When couples come in for therapy, I, as a specialist in trauma and relationships, find I always have both hats on.

 

No matter their concerns, I also take into account their life experiences.  Their reactions to their partners, friends, the world are often provoking unconscious memories which impact their responses.

 

Feelings of each are discussed.  Empathy is encouraged.  Healing the issues and feelings in the present need to happen.  With the wealth of training from experts in the field, I remain convinced that EMDR does an efficient and excellent job of healing deep wounds.  I integrate that process with all I have learned.

 

Communication skills are absolutely necessary – even for those who feel they do talk to each other.  The skills I teach create understanding and empathy.

 

Negotiation skills help couples find a way to satisfy each other.

 

Call me and we can talk.  609-975-8845.

 

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, EMDR, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

Choosing the Best Therapist for Relationship Issues

Posted on October 23, 2018 by ps

CHOOSING THE BEST THERAPIST FOR

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

 

Honestly, it blows my mind that people are so afraid to confront the things that bother them in their relationships.  Some keep their mouths shut because they are afraid to be met with a firestorm.  Some don’t know how to discuss their unhappiness.  Some were brought up to keep quiet –  Don’t argue –

Do what you are told.

 

So, what happens?  Resentments build over time, and there are consequences that will lead to disaster in your relationships:  Periodic blow-ups, not wanting to be home, not being able to participate fully in sexual intimacy, some lead to affairs or divorce.  There have even been cases which lead to murder.  When anger builds, anything can happen.

 

Good therapy, with a good therapist can change your life.  That may mean a few less dinners out and postponing Broadway shows.  But, it will be so worth it!  The results of the therapy will be that you will have what it takes to build a happy life.

 

I have 38 years of experience.  That is not just counseling people in my office. It is also all the readings and all the trainings that I have done and continue to do.  I am up-to-date on the myriad methods to alleviate suffering.   I teach an amazing method to express yourselves to one other.  I have the skills to deeply heal the wounds of your life which keep you from knowing lasting love and the emotional connection that is necessary for intimacy and a life worth living.

 

Read my website and give me a call. We can talk and see if we fit for working together.

Paula Susan, MSW, LCSW is a Relationship and Trauma Specialist in Southern New Jersey who has been counseling couples and individuals for over 33 years.

Posted in Anger, Choosing a partner, Chronic Illness, Couples Counseling, Creating Intimacy in Relationships, EMDR, Falling in love, Family Counseling, Keeping Relationships Healthy and Fun, Marriage Counseling, NJ Counseling Services, PTSD Therapists, Relationship with Mothers and Fathers, Relationships on Holidays, Sex, Sexual attraction, South Jersey Counseling, South Jersey Therapists

Masters in Social Work and Psychology
- Relationship & Trauma
- Specialist Since 1982
- Expert in EMDR

Short-Term
Dynamic Therapy
Training & Certifications in Energy
Psychology, Cognitive/Behavioral,
EMDR, HAT, EFT, Hypnotherapy,
Neurolinguistics and more.

IMAGO
Certified Relationship Specialist

Heal Relationships
Affairs:
To separate or grow beyond

Gay and Lesbian Challenges:
How to transcend them

Sexual Issues:
Release from dogma to freedom,
from passive to responsive

Communication:
Hearing and being heard -
real connection

Resolve Trauma
Certified by American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress: Big and Small Trauma,
Incest, Tragedy, Sexual Violation,
Grieving, Chronic Illness

Clinical Depression,
Anxiety

Consultation to
professionals

Referral Network

READ PAULA'S OWN BLOG

Guest Blogger at

Paula was a guest on the weekly WGLS-fm Rowan Radio Show
Your Health Matters with Dr. Craig Wax
Topics Discussed:

  • How Relationships Can Be Compromised Due to Stress
  • The Economy's Impact on Relationships
  • And More...

Click below to listen
to the podcast!!!

Empowering Ourselves Interview

A Message From Paula Susan

During this terrible crisis and isolation, Paula Susan, Trauma and Relationship Specialist since 1982, is here to help you.  We can speak through telephone or Zoom and I will do counseling  that can transform your life.  Traumas - big and little - change the way we feel about ourselves, each other and the world.

I continue to study with the masters in my field.  And, I have integrated the most valuable ways of healing different issues, into the EMDR which I have creatively made my own.

You can reach me at 609-975-8845  and, please check out my website at paulasusan.com (About Life Counseling)